Unintentional Tolerating: How to Raise Your Minimum Standard
What are you tolerating right now?
- A body that aches or feels uncomfortable to be in.
- An employer or coworker who speaks disrespectfully to you.
- Insufficient dollars in your bank account.
- A family member who consistently expects you to put their needs first.
I’ve talked before about the value of Being Comfortable with Discomfort. However, there’s a dark side to this practice when applied indiscriminately.
“You don’t always get what you dream about, but you will get what you tolerate.” Regan Hillyer
We all know of women who stay in relationships with men who treat them like garbage and convince them NO ONE will love them the way THEY do. We scratch our heads and wonder why she would settle for so little.
Yet, if you were to survey your life, you might discover an area where YOU are that woman. Where you are settling for less than what is available to you and what you deserve.
I recently discovered where I was being Her. Where I have unintentionally and unnecessarily been tolerating something that’s uncomfortable to me.
Tolerance is developed over time, and because of that, it can be a little sneaky.
We overlook, endure, or suffer through something because life is not perfect, and, at times, we do have to grin and bear the circumstances. That’s where being comfortable with discomfort applies.
However, when you continue to be uncomfortable with something you CAN control, the question to ask it is, why?
Several years ago, Tim and I were living in Indiana, very much disliking the cold, gray winters. We flew to Florida for my birthday in February and met my cousin who was preparing to move there. As he talked, a light bulb came on for me, and I realized that there was no (overcome-able) reason that Tim and I couldn’t move somewhere with the kind of weather we prefer. Two months later, we landed in Sarasota and have never looked back.
It sounds silly, but until then, I hadn’t consciously thought about what was available to me regarding where I lived. I was tolerating Indiana winters unnecessarily.
I encourage you to check in with yourself today to see what you might be unintentionally tolerating. Survey the different areas of your life and ask, on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being: I love how things are going in this area of my life), what number would I give to my work, health and fitness, finances, relationships, environment, etc.
Then ask yourself, what it would take to make it a 10?
What would need to change, and what can I do to facilitate the change?
What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
Headaches/foggy brain from that additional glass of wine…burdensome debt…20 extra pounds…sleepless nights…an overwhelming workload……an unsatisfying relationship…a lack of joy or fulfillment…living somewhere I don’t love….
Whatever it is, decide today to raise your minimum standard in that area.
Decide to tolerate less of what you don’t want, and you will find yourself experiencing more of what you do want. I guarantee it!
If you want a different life, you have to make different decisions. For help making and honoring your decisions, schedule a call with me today. It’s free.
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